Oh bum!

On Saturday, Mr D and I were going about our business doing some errands. The weather was wet and windy but had calmed a little. We were chatting about this and that in the car and, having just pulled away from some temporary traffic lights, we were in a line of slow moving cars. All of a sudden, I heard the screech of breaks and tyres on wet road before an almighty crash as the car behind slammed into the back of us, shunting us into the car in front!

The rear bumper has been shoved so hard that these metal rods are now protruding through each side!

The boot doesn't shut very well

The side sections of the rear  bumper have been twisted

This is the rear of the car in front now! 

Our poor car looks very miserable indeed, both front and back are damaged and after describing the damage to our insurers, they feel the car may well be a right off. At least the chap behind is insured so it's all being processed now, but it wasn't a pleasant experience. Mr D had a very sore neck and my upper back was sore, but we took some ibuprofen and applied various heat pads and felt a bit better, if still stiff the following day. Mind you today I actually feel worse so I might get the doctor to check it over in my appointment tomorrow.  We will be offered massage or physio via the insurers if we need it. The poor chap in front had his elderly parents in the car with him and they looked rather shocked, but no one was seriously hurt. Mr D and I were relieved that we had just dropped our youngest back at home and that we didn't have Jet in the boot - he doesn't need any more psychological trauma!

It will be irritating if we have to find another car. We have three at the moment, having brought mum's car back and we had been planning on scrapping our big 7 seater as we don't really need it any more. We'd been keeping it to ferry stuff back from Mum's house as its like a van when you take the seats out. I love that car - very comfortable, great visibility and such a workhorse, BUT the gear stick is held together with parcel tape and the window trims are all falling off; it's covered in scratches and the glove compartment won't shut anymore, so hangs open like a permanently gaping mouth! I think we might have to keep the big car until it's MOT/insurance runs out and Mr D will have to use my Mum's car for getting to and fro from work. At least we have options, which many people might not.

Scrooge

Well, not quite. I'm not actually miserly and I dread the thought of being haunted by Christmasses past ( why is it that the Christmas 'holidays' often seem so fraught?!).

Mr D and I decided to take the various small change jars to Tesco to get them counted in their machine and exchanged for cash. HOWEVER, when I read the small print, it turns out they take 9.9p per £1 counted! What a rip off, so the jars were all brought home and we set about counting them out. It was quite fun actually and didn't take us quite as long as we had thought it would. We have separated it out into the correct coinage for the money bags and I now need to take it to the bank. It wasn't a bad stash, coming to over £60 across the various pots. It's an easy way to save really.

There are three piles for the three different people's change pots. Daughter number two who is now in America had over £40 in hers! 

Talking of saving, I have been inspired by Mrs Escape over at Our Escape (see side bar) to keep a more active record of our savings. At the end of every month, I transfer anything leftover into our savings account which is growing nicely, but I felt like I'd be inspired with a visual.
Presenting the savings thermometer :-

This is now stuck on the wall in the kitchen. 

I am able to start it off with a lump sum as the solicitor has released my expenditure from when Mum was ill. I had sent off the Power of Attorney to the Office of the Public Guardian to be able to use Mums money, but they sent the completed form back the day after she had died, some 9 weeks and multiple snotty phone calls after I had originally sent it to them!! They did at least have the grace to apologise and refund the £110. Still it now means a good starting point when I add that, a refund on her car tax and the money from the savings jar. We are also slowly working through selling some items on eBay and any monies from this will be added to the pot along with the usual 'endofthemonth' leftovers. I've planned a starting goal of £5,000 to see how we go.

Store cupboard soup

Tomato and lentil soup

This is a great little soup for when you don't have anything fresh in. As long as you can scrabble about and find an onion and hopefully a clove of garlic, the rest can be thrown together with goods from your store cupboard. It's based on another Cranks recipe.

1 large onion, finely chopped
1 clove of garlic, finely chopped
1 tsp mixed herbs (or fresh of course)
2 tins chopped tomatoes
1 tbsp tomato purée
1 tsp marmite
2 cupfuls of red lentils
Approx 1 pint of stock or water
Salt and pepper

Soften the onion and garlic in a little oil in a large pan.. Add the other ingredients and simmer. If the lentils soak up too much liquid add water or stock if you prefer. When the lentils are soft, serve the soup with a generous helping of grated cheddar. Obviously the cheese isn't obligatory, but it makes it into a meal so I always add it. Serve with crusty bread, preferably home made :)
This recipe serves 4 to 6.

Jet came home yesterday from his scans. Bless him, he was really quite out of it. Mr D had to lift him on to his settee so he could have cuddles with mummy! We now just need to wait for the results of the scans to see where we go next.

He seems to suffer from separation anxiety so he's very clingy this morning and crying every time we leave the room! Might be an excellent excuse for cuddling up and reading a book :) 

Jet

Many many thanks for all of the feedback on the last two posts. It's very interesting and helpful to get insights from others who have made similar moves or who are considering their next move. I will of course keep you all up to date as we move forwards (hopefully) with our plans.

The lovely Jet has been limping a lot lately and the vet feels he probably has an issue with the bones in his elbow being malaligned, rubbing together and causing inflammation. I've got to take him to the local vets shortly and he will then be driven to their HQ in North London, put under a general and then have a series of X-Ray and scan images taken so they can better determine what's going on. He'll probably need an operation poor love. Fortunately the insurance covers up to £3000 and as the scans alone cost £1300, that will help enormously.
He's such a little trooper, never once complaining and is ALWAYS excited about walks even though recently, they've had to be sedate and short. He keeps looking dolefully at me this morning because I can't feed him.... I'm trying not to make eye contact!

And here he is looking 'street' in my youngest daughter's beanie.

I think he's looking affronted because I was laughing so much! 

In the photo you can see the huge box that has appeared in my lounge. Just as I get the house all clutter free and looking just as I like it, I bring back a whole load of stuff from Mum's to sort through. Mr D and I will need to do a big session, photographing and putting various pieces on eBay as it certainly can't all stay. I have managed to give away lamps, a dehumidifier, various tools, books, wooden spoons (for batik making) and various other bits and bobs. Another big box went to the charity shop. This gives me great satisfaction that most of her things are going to a good home where they can continue to be useful.

I'll let you know how Jet gets on :)

The plan

If you read yesterday's post, you'll know why the plans looks as it does.... I apologise for the length (and potential tedium) of this post in advance!

1) Home :- we have agreed that Shropshire is the county for us for multiple reasons - rural and spacious, much less traffic, historic towns, beautiful walks and a sense of community, good value for money in terms of house prices, my brother lives there, centrally placed in UK so easier for the kids to visit when they are spread all over the place. Mr D feels that the look and feel of the house is more important to me, so will defer to my preferences on the whole. We would both like a house big enough to have all of our children back, plus partners/spouses and children in the future (even if it means blow up beds and sleeping bags) and room for frequent visits from friends. This is important to both of us as we both love entertaining. We both want a large kitchen and some kind of real fire or log burner. He would like space for table tennis. I want a barn/workshop for revamping furniture, so the two could overlap. I really want an older house with character - celebrating the imperfect! As I want to grow my own veg and fruit and keep my lovely chickens, I would like at least an acre. Originally I wanted more as I intended on keeping goats and ducks, but I fear I am alone in that, so I will compromise. Mr D can't cope with the idea of eating anything he has 'raised' which puts a spanner in the works rather! But he is happy to help out in the garden and likes the thought of homegrown food. In terms of budget, we are looking at about £350,000 for which I think there are a number of potential properties. Originally we were thinking quite remote, but having discussed it, we are both leaning towards being a little closer to civilisation whilst still retaining views and dog walks on the doorstep. A small holidays one in France is still on the wish list :) 

2) Career and work. I want to prise Mr D out of his highly stressful, long hours job for the sake of his health and our relationship. We came to the conclusion that any form of income generation will have  to be multi pronged, comprising part time supply teaching for him, perhaps a part time shop/admin type job for me and possibly other, smaller income prospects like selling home made produce, letting out rooms, occasional B&B and selling on revamped furniture and craft creations made by me. Whatever happens, our income will fall considerably as Mr D is presently on a good wage and neither of us are anywhere near pension age!  We discussed how our entire lifestyle will have to change in order for this to work, but we are both ready. At least we know that as and when we can start drawing on our pensions pots, it will provide us with a decent amount to live off. 

3) Relationships and family. This topic raised an interesting issue. We agreed that we wanted to make this new step together (well, you never know....). I asked how he felt we would spend our time when the children left home. His response was of shock and panic at the very thought of them leaving, even though, two have already, to all intents and purpose left and a third is on the verge of leaving next autumn. I think the empty nest syndrome may affect him more than me. Personally, I'm looking forward to spending time alone with my husband and making the most of being able to please ourselves. That's not to say I don't love my children and I don't love being a mother, but surely the main point of being a parent is to prepare them for the world at large and then release them into it? We did both agree wholeheartedly that we would love for our children to feel they could come home at any point for visits and that they would want to and we aim to create a home that will provide for this.

4) Friends. On similar lines to the above, we would like our friends to come and visit regularly. We have been fortunate to have made some wonderful and treasured friends along the way already, so we would like them to stay in touch where possible. To make new friends, we will need to go out and socialise. We are both fairly sociable although I love my own company which Mr D does not (as in his own company rather than not enjoying my company!), so he will no doubt be looking to go out more than I would choose. The restrictive factor of disposable income may make a difference there! 

5) Health. We agreed that we will continue to eat well, predominantly vegetarian and home made from scratch. My exercise will come from the garden and dog walking, his will be supplemented with running and joining a tennis club (I'm rubbish at sport, he is an ex PE teacher and very good at most sports). Emotionally, we agreed that we would try to be more aware of one another's moods and try harder to respond appropriately to them. I think this will be easier in our new life. 

6)  Character. When I asked Mr D where he thought his strengths lay, he was unable to tell me! Seriously?! How many times have we sat with students encouraging them to write positive things about themselves in college applications or personal statements! Eventually, we decided that his strengths lay in bringing a lightness and humour to our family life and in striving to maintain links with our friends and the wider family. My strengths lie in driving things forward and seeing that things are completed - a starter/finisher as my Headteacher used to describe me. As a couple, we share the same values, we are both nurturers and balance one another out well if we are working well together. Our weaknesses lie in not always being able/willing to see what the other one might need and not always talking things out rather than stewing. We agreed we need to work on better communication and, on a practical level, keep  trying out basic DIY skills to see just how much we  can do for ourselves (I'm certainly more gung-ho than he  is in this respect!) 

7)  Activities and Hobbies. Mr D would quite like us to join a ballroom dancing class together. We would both like to become part of the local community - volunteering, quiz nights, organising events etc.  He would like to continue with some sport, I'd like to continue with my crafts. Mr D said he would like to start cooking more and I'd want to attend some classes to learn better needlework skills. I'd quite like to start up yoga again - I loved it before but my tutor left and I couldn't warm to the next one. We discussed how I would need Mr D to help more in the garden and around the home to enable us  both to have free time whether that be apart or together. I have always done the lion's  share of all things home related and I'd like to share this more. In terms of saving for something special, we would both love to go back to the Maldives and there are multiple other places both nationally and worldwide we'd love to visit if we are financially able to. 

8) Finances. Now this is the trickier bit. We are fortunate to be in a strong position financially going in to this but we have to decide whether to keep this house, rent it out and buy the new house in shropshire with a small mortgage raised on this one. The rental from this  house would cover the mortgage and pay us a regular income. Or should we sell this, buy a new house in Shropshire as cash buyers and then use the remainder to buy smaller houses to let out in Shropshire making it easier to manage them and building up a small  portfolio. OR do we sell this, buy a new house in Shropshire with the cash and then invest any remaining cash? There are some outstanding factors to play a part  in this, so we will have to wait until the new year before seek professional advice (we can get excellent free advice through Mr D's Union). Meanwhile I'm going to contact some local rental agencies here and get this house valued again so we have all the information to hand.

So there you have it (if you've kept awake to read it!) - the plan in detail. Any thoughts? 

Having a plan

Firstly, thank you for all the kind comments on yesterday's birthday post. It's been great to become part of a gang!
As this is the first post of a new year, it seems only appropriate that this (and tomorrow's) look at my plan for the years ahead. They're a bit wordy I'm afraid, but there was no other way!

As you know, I have a clear idea of where I want to be headed and when I want to get there. Recently however, I have had my doubts as to whether Mr D was quite in tune with my plan, so I decided we needed to convene a summit meeting to thrash out what we thought would work. I drew up a list of questions and whilst we were in Devon with fewer distractions, we sat in the sunporch with a cuppa and went through the topics. Initially Mr D was rather bemused as it seemed far too much like an appraisal meeting, but he went along with it. Overall, I think it has helped to raise a few issues that we perhaps hadn't realised needed raising and to iron out some of the sticking points.
This was the set of questions I used (after trawling through the Internet). The plan is subdivided into 8 sub headings, but they do overlap a lot  :-

1) Home -
Where, geographically, do you envisage this home being?
In what sort of area do you see your home? Eg. near a village, out in the sticks etc?
What do you think the house will look like on the inside and outside?
What is important for you to have in the home?
What do you think we should spend to achieve this home?
How we will we achieve this budget?

2) Career and work -
What do you want to do in terms of work?
How many hours do you want to work?
How much miminum income do we need?

3) Relationships and family -
How do we view our future together?
What to do we both want?
What will we do as individuals?
What will we do as a family?

4) Friends -
How will we maintain our present friendships?
How will we make new friends?
How important is this to you?

5) Health -
What will we do to improve/maintain our mental, physical and emotional wellbeing?

6) Character -
What strengths do we have as individuals and as a couple?
Where might our weaknesses lie?
What skills do we need to develop?

7) Hobbies and Activities -
What hobbies do we want to have both individually and as a couple?
How will we fit these into our lives?
What special event (s) would we want to put money aside for?

8) Finances -
How will we earn our money?
How will we save?
How should we invest any spare money?

Now you can see why he thought he was in an appraisal meeting! At least I didn't 'traffic light' last year's performance and set him targets for next year's :)

I have yet to type up the plan but two very interesting moments were when we were talking about how it would be when the children had all left home and also when we talked about our strengths and weaknesses. I'll write about those in the next post when I  type up our potential life plan to share with you. It was an interesting exercise actually and certainly showed up where we were very much together but also where the potential crisis points might lie - none insurmountable but good to know in advance nevertheless. I know it might seem excessively formal and probably too 'management' for some, but it gave us a framework for our discussions. Perhaps all couples should do one of these before setting up home together?
I bet you're intrigued as to what the plan is now! .....

One year Anniversary

Today marks the first milestone for my humble little blog. I have been posting my ramblings and musings for a year now. Thank you so much to all of you who read and comment. I can truly say, it's been an absolute eye opener for me discovering blogland. There's so much information and support out there that I never knew existed. I have to admit that prior to reading blogs, I was of a similar, slightly dismissive mindset as my brother about the whole thing..... "Why would anyone want to read about the minutiae of strangers' everyday lives?!"
BUT, it isn't just about catching a glimpse into the day to day activities of others, although it's much more interesting than he thinks it might be! It's also about gaining experience and knowledge from other, like-minded people who are at a different stage on the path, gaining support and encouragement from others when you start to have doubts, receiving a great deal of support and genuine care from newfound friends at times of difficulty and sharing tips and knowledge that you have gained along the way to help others.
I know I don't know any of you personally, but I bet that if bloggers met, they would have a lot in common. I don't really know anyone else 'in the flesh' who is trying to live like I am, so your support, guidance and encouragement has been invaluable to me over the last year. Let's hope you will continue to visit my blog and continue to write yours until the next milestone is reached.
Many many thanks for making my first year in blogtopia such a fun and enriching one xx