Monday 4 January 2016

Calm down Mrs D!

I think I need to take a moment and breathe!

I would appear to have got myself worked up into a bit of a lather which, somewhat perversely, is preventing me from getting anything done, thereby increasing my sense of anxiety! I know it's ridiculous, so I'm going to take my time, write lists and prioritise what I need to do.
I don't tend to do much housework over the two weeks surrounding Christmas and the New Year, so the house needs a VERY a good clean and I have a huge pile of ironing to get done too. I'm nearly there on taking all the Christmas decorations down and packed away for next year now at least.
My priority for this week is to get my surroundings back to a manageable state before deciding on order of attack for the bigger items.
Tomorrow is Mr D's Birthday and in a couple of weeks, it is our youngests Birthday, then we can pull back in the celebrating for a while. Don't know about you, but I find it quite exhausting!

I also need to lose the extra poundage I have gained - yikes! Less said there, the better :(

In the background is a sense of uncertainty at what 2016 might bring....

Jet is going in for his first elbow operation this Thursday so he will then need to be kept immobile for six weeks - should be interesting! The Vet did suggest using a mild sedative for the first few weeks at least to keep him from his usual bounding about. I'm going to rearrange the room, removing the settee which is his bed and replacing it with the 'duvet' bed I made for him. I'm trying to avoid having to use a cage for him, but we can borrow one if we need to. I think we'll just have to wait and see. Six months after this op, he'll have to have the next operation on the other elbow and we'll have to go through the whole rigmarole once again. I do hope this is all successful.

When my mother died, there were mistakes made in the lead up to her second stroke and so there was a multi agency investigation initiated (by us). We received the report last week. It made distressing reading of course and brought back lots of bad memories. Part of me wants to just leave it at that. She's at peace now and I'm not sure I've got the energy for the fight, but it doesn't sit well with me to leave it. You see, it wasn't just one or two agencies where mistakes were made - it was both hospitals, both homes, the pharmacist and the GP who all failed to follow procedures and guidelines leading to a failure to provide Mum with the care she should have had. Reading the report is quite horrifying. So my brother and I are having to decide what we will do next. I am particularly concerned that the report doesn't not fill me with confidence of any positive changes to be implemented. An apology would have been nice too and an acknowledgment that these agencies had not followed their own protocols - too much blaming one another going on for my liking.  I had hoped that all of that would be left behind in 2015, but her house isn't sold yet either and now there is all of this wrangling. Hey ho!

There is the potential for a massive a shift in how and where we live in 2016. Whilst this is what I have wanted for years, it still makes me nervous. In so many ways, it's so much safer to just keep the status quo and carry on as we are, but I do know that, psychologically, that wouldn't be good for me. Keep your fingers crossed that I'm not about to push us headlong into a disastrous mistake! I am approaching it sensibly of course and we do have a financial cushion, but it is still a huge step into the unknown after 20+ years of living a steady suburban lifestyle. It's exciting yet terrifying - I just need to keep the terror under control :)

Physio and claims are still ongoing after the car accident so that too will be rumbling along in the background. All very tedious!

I think my best bet is to compartmentalise, focus on one area at a time and take baby steps...oh and stop watching box sets on Netflix!!
I'm off to get something done for a change :)


13 comments:

  1. I feel your pain, and advise just to take one step at a time, lists are a good thing.
    With regard to the shift in where you live, I have an offering from one who did just that. In 2008 we sold our too large for us house in Surrey and downsized to Wiltshire. We had thought long and hard about it, but I realize now that there were various aspects of the move that I simply didn't anticipate - although I should have. Two of my sons still live in Surrey with their partners, when we moved away there was only one grandchild, an almost teenage boy, but over the past five years I have been blessed with 4 gorgeous granddaughters. Although we are only two hours drive away it is becoming more and more difficult for me to make the return trips to see them, and I find it very emotional to leave them again, so we are seriously considering another house move back towards Surrey to be closer to them, see them more often and become an active participant in there growing up.

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    1. I have a feeling our children will be spread all over the world, so I'm having to go with where I'd like to live at this stage. If we move to shropshire, we will be able to afford a large enough house for plenty of visitors so it may work out, but if not, then we'll look at the situation as it arises. Moving back into Surrey could be tricky - it's so blinking expensive!! that's what we are banking on as we are moving from Surrey - so we should be quids in in terms of value for money.
      Your children will certainly appreciate having you in their children's lives - I would have liked more participation from my parents but they wouldn't ever have moved closer to us, so they were over 3hrs away. Too late now of course :(

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  3. Your new year is like ours - all uncertainty and worries. Let's hope by mid year we'll both be sorted and know what's happening. Best wishes

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    1. Yes, let's hope so! I'm not great with uncertainty at the best of times. I shall keep fingers and toes crossed for us all :)

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  4. I never liked the idea of a dog cage but we borrowed one for our pup and she absolutely loved it! She would actually choose to go in there to sleep during the day. A friend had a huge dog cage for her retriever - I used to joke that you could park a Mini in it. Again, the dog loved it; it was like a little bedroom. At least you would know that if someone came to the door, Jet wouldn't be able to bound around in excitement (our dogs are dreadful when someone comes to the door). You'll know what is best. Do you remember the saga of the dog bed I ordered? Well, the company sent out a replacement and it was another tiny dog bed. They refunded the money as it turned out they didn't have the large dog bed in stock and told me to keep the 2 smaller beds. We took them to the local dog and cat home and were shown around; so many lovely dogs and cats looking for homes.

    Keep calm and take one day at a time. Sometimes life has a way of showing us when it's the right time to change things x

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    1. Glad the dog beds found a good use and that the company at least had the good grace to let you have them. I bet the animal shelter were thrilled!
      We may well end up borrowing the cage - we can have it at any moment. We'll see how it goes over the first weekend and go from there.
      I'm a believer in serendipity - most of the best things in my life have come to me by chance so let's hope it happens again this year! Thanks for the good wishes :)

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  5. I can relate to your worries about your move! I still have moments of panic thinking "what the hell am I doing, we are perfectly happy in this house" but I think I would regret it if I didn't take the huge step now., I would always wonder what it would have been like, sometimes you have to take a gamble. Change is scary! As for everything else, just try to deal with one thing at a time, one day at a time otherwise it can be overwhelming.

    Yes, I also seem to have spent a lot of time watching the box sets of Sons of Anarchy over Xmas :)

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    1. It feels a bit silly really as this is what I have wanted for ages and ages. I should be feeling excitement not fear. Whatever happens, we will make the very best go of it! Everything will work it's way through as we progress through the year I guess.
      Am trying to go cold turkey on Netflix now the kids are all back to school/uni/work !

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  6. It sounds like there is a lot going on. Sometimes looking at the big picture seems overwhelming. When get like that I try to take it one thing at a time (if I can!).

    I'm glad the house is quiet again. We had a busy time there for a while. It was certainly nice having the house to myself today. We got snow last night so I was really glad I didn't have to go out - I certainly appreciate not working anymore when I see snow outside!

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    1. I've got my first quiet day today - am very much looking forward to it I have to say. No snow here - just dampness :(

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  7. Gosh you have so much going on all at once. It is important that you take steps back and breath before making any big decisions, but of course you know that and I'm sure you do.

    I hope Jets surgery goes well, and you cope in the aftermath which will actually be the hardest part.

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