Friday 15 January 2016

Inertia

Firstly, welcome to Lilly's Mum :)
I'm glad so many of you liked the sound of the cake. It really was very tasty, but I do like any citrus flavours.
I resurrected my bread machine this week. It had been stuck in a cupboard after I had discovered an easy handmade bread recipe. I don't like to cook the bread in there because you end up with a hole where the dough hook has been, so I just used it in the dough programme, then shaped it in my bread proving basket before baking. It was a much softer crumb and crust than the Pain Montmatre I usually make, but it sliced well. Needless to say, it didn't last long!



And now to the title of this post - As I may have mentioned, patience is not one of my strong points. When I decide to do something, I like to get on with it immediately. If, for some reason, I am prevented from immediate action, I lose all interest and the initial thought or plan, languishes in my brain causing me to feel guilty that I'm not getting things done!

When I first stopped working, after a period of healing, I felt invigorated and purposeful. I took on lots of new challenges and tackled loads of outstanding jobs. I felt as if I had taken back control of my life. Sadly that initial momentum seems to have ebbed away, leaving me rooted by a heavy sense of inertia.  

I know I cannot control everything that happens to me, but I can control how I react to it, so I have decided that enough is enough, I need to crawl back up to the surface and start working towards my dreams. I've come a long way in the last 16 months and I need to keep moving forwards. To that end, I have written a segregated list of all the 'issues' in my life, divided into separate headings. Next to these headings, I have written the actions which I believe I can take to help move forwards. Some of them can't be influenced by me, but I can start to plan for any eventuality.

This week, I have taken definitive action on just two of the 8 listed 'issues', but I already feel better for it. I know what I want to happen this year, but I also know that I cannot rush it and nor can I force outside influences to bend to my will, but if I identify the areas where I can exert my control then I will feel that I am at least partially in the driving seat again. Everyone prefers to feel in control don't they?

15 comments:

  1. Certainly do but like you say, not always possible all the time. My computer takes an age to load up in the morning. Instead of going away and coming back when its finished, I sit there, drumming my fingers on the desk, getting more annoyed by the wait. Riduculous really and I can hear myself saying, "get up, go away, come back in a few minutes" I don't and makes me more annoyed. One of these days, I will!

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    1. I think we all have those irritating things we do regularly despite knowing we should do it differently. I once read a quote : "repeating the same mistake and expecting a different outcome is the sign of madness"!! Not implying you're mad of course :)

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  2. It sounds like you are going about things in exactly the right way for you. That bread looks delicious, no wonder it didn't last long.

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    1. The loaf was so easy - it could become a daily routine at last!!

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  3. I used to be terrible about feeling the need to be in control of everything but I'm much more placid these days. If I hadn't scored everything off my 'to do' list by the end of the day a few years ago, I would have felt out of control. Now some things on the list still haven't been done a few weeks later and it doesn't bother me as I know they will eventually get done. Loaf looks really yummy. I use the breadmaker and keep the slices with the holes in them for toast.

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    1. I've taught myself to be better at not getting everything done in terms of household tasks, but what is REALLY frustrating me is making progress on my life plan. I feel I'm managing the day to day stuff well, but there's so much outside stuff to deal with at the moment, I feel it hard to imagine reaching the goal ..... I must be patient!

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  4. Oh how I relate to the feelings of frustration, we have a buyer for our house, I have lots of plans and still can't find our next home grrrrrrrr. Here's a tip for you when you do move, Xmas and New Year are not a good time to be looking for your next home.

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    1. I'm hoping (possible against hope) that we would be looking/moving between March and August, but we may need to move into rented first if we can't find anywhere....we need to work around the start of the school year. It's likely to get even more frustrating!

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  5. Oh, I do hope you will feel better and have much success in attaining your goals. I like to keep a rigid schedule but some things in life like to be on their own time. It can be quite frustrating especially if you like to get things done in a timely manner. Just don't get too stressed. The bread looks so yummy! Enjoy your weekend, Pat

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    1. I'm trying not to get stressed....... Time will tell!

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  6. I'll have jm with mine please! It looks delicious. I hope you feel better soon, I understand how you feel. I had pneumonia and my father died to it took me a long time to recover mentally and physically. Dragging myself to work after a very short convalesce helped a little to keep things normal for me.

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    1. Yes, it takes longer than you think to recover. I guess when my father passed away, I had a young family to take care of, so didn't have time to even think about his passing! This time, it's a little different :(

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  7. Bread looks great, nothing beats home made bread even the smell when it comes out of the oven makes it worth while, I couldnt go back to eating the stuff they call bread in the shops now all full of enhancers and preservatives :-)

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  8. I'm aiming to try and get myself in a better bread making routine. I love sourdough, but it seems to take an age to prove etc, so I'll get myself starter with the simpler stuff first :)

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  9. That loaf looks wonderful! one of my aims this year is to master bread making, I think a proving basket will be a necessary investment soon

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