Ebb and flow

Human beings are fickle creatures aren't they? Well, at least, I certainly am!
The whole premise of my blog is how much happier I am now that I am leading a simpler, quieter life and yet reading back through some posts yesterday, I see that I have called my life 'humdrum'!!
How shortsighted can I be? Honestly, some folk are never satisfied!

Sunrise last week from my Mum's sunporch. Shame I can't add that to the house particulars!

Let me say now, that I am VERY happy with the gentle ebb and flow of my simple life. Every day, I have important and meaningful work to do - no it's not creating world peace, saving the planet or indeed open heart surgery. My kind of work is important to me and to my family, but, by living the way I have chosen, I am having a more positive impact on the environment and I am helping to create four beautiful adults to send out into the world. My work involves nurturing my family, caring for my home and focussing on  slowing down and really appreciating life.

Many an hour has been spent with dogs and children playing on Broadsands beach near Brixham. Mind you, all I could think about this time was what excellent compost the seaweed would make, but Mr D didn't seem so keen to bring a bag back on the 3hour journey!! 

I don't get it right all of the time and I obviously don't always remember to be grateful, but I am very fortunate to have been able to adopt this new way of life and I am happy with the gentle ebb and flow of my days.

On the job list this glorious day? ......
Pruning the Japanese Quince to reveal the two clematis growing up through it in all their glory
Planting - cucumbers, a new mint plant and French beans
Sweeping paths and the deck
Hoovering inside
Steam cleaning some carpets and rugs upstairs  (the cat has been sick!)
Some admin/paperwork

...but before I start? Eggs on toast!

Thank you Ginger for the double yoker x 

Phew!

What a very odd and disjointed few weeks it has been! Mum is much the same, so I've come back home now as there isn't much more I can do at the moment. Her house is on the market so that will chug along in the capable hands of the local estate agent. Part of me hopes it will sell quickly, but another (more sentimental) part of me will find it enormously difficult to let go. It was so odd to see photos of the house on the Internet especially the one of my old bedroom! Still, I really don't want the responsibility of it next winter, as bombing up and down the A303 is tiring.

Meanwhile my own house and garden had slowly slipped away from me. It's all well and good people saying "the house work will wait", but actually a) it doesn't and b) I can't bear it when it's a mess!
I had brought a couple of chairs back from Mum's - a leather recliner for Mr D and an ercol rocking chair for me. Unfortunately, I had nowhere to put them so they stayed in the car for about 10 days - which in turn meant the conservatory had two car seats in it and I couldn't buy the compost I needed because the boot was full of chairs!! Eventually, I managed to rearrange my bedroom for the rocking chair and rearrange and declutter the lounge for the leather chair. Mr D took over 100 items to the charity shop!

I'm using the rocking chair as my knitting chair. You can probably make out that the 'scarf' is getting longer! 

I am ashamed to say that when I moved the furniture in the lounge, I had to get my paintbrush out because I hadn't bothered moving the bookcase when I originally painted the chimney breast!!
There are now more places to park your bottom in this house than is strictly necessary, but .........

Mr D would no doubt find it very comfortable if it wasn't always occupied by a teenager or a cat! 

Today I have focused on the garden which badly needed weeding. I was weeding the vegetable patch next to the chicken coop. It was the most fun I have ever had weeding! I had five little ladies to chat to and they were massively interested in what I was doing. The neighbours must have thought I'd lost the plot when I kept laughing, but the sight of five fluffy bottoms chasing after the worms I was throwing in to the run was so funny!
I just need to do a bit more pruning, some more planting and construct another raised bed for my pumpkin plants and I'm back in control of the garden!

On a completely separate note, we organised a financial advisor to come to the house last Friday. It was free with my husband's Union. I wanted her to talk about pensions because I seem to have trouble understanding them. No longer are they a mystery to me! She was excellent and we now have a timeline demonstrating exactly how much (dependent on governments and inflation etc!) we will each get and when (I have three separate pension pots and Mr D has two). She offered us very sound advice and left me very positive and clear about what we needed to do next to achieve our dream. At no point did she try to force any products on us either. Ninety minutes of very useful advice!

I'm hoping to have a quieter patch for a while and am aiming to gradually complete my outstanding jobs from the very long list because I know full well that there are some VERY busy times ahead!

Yin and yang

Firstly thank you again for the wonderfully kind comments you are leaving. They feel like lots of hugs when I read them :) Just so you can picture me, I'm sitting in MY chair in my Mum's sunporch writing this :)
Mum has rallied a little and the cottage hospital are fantastic, so I've been able to pop in a couple of times a day for 20 mins to an hour. She's in her own room which is flooded with light and they are ensuring she is comfortable and settled. She saw Mr D and mumbled "He looks a lot like my son in law", which made me smile :) Each minute I've had where she's been awake is being treated as an added and unexpected bonus by me! It's tough, but I am fortunate to have time to work through the process so I too will be at peace when I leave Devon this time.

Mr D and I have balanced the Yin with plenty of Yang. On Saturday it was a glorious day. Mum's house and garden looked spectacular when we drove up - I would have bought it on that alone!! We went for a lovely walk along the coast from Sharpam Point to Mansands, where I paddled and Mr D skimmed stones (I know, some of us never grow up fully!) The photos aren't great quality. I didn't bring my camera, not imagining that we'd have many photo opportunities. Silly me!

 

 

Yesterday we walked through Galmpton, past my old school and down to the River Dart. It really is very beautiful here, IF you avoid the real touristy areas. As you can see, the sun was shy yesterday!

One thing I have noticed is the superb number of wild flowers. My Mum taught me all the names of the flowers when we went for walks. I had forgotten some and needed to look them up when I got back, but the woods and hedgerows are looking resplendent this May in Devon. I saw red campion, buttercups, daisies, margarites, herb Robert, speedwell, chickweed, cow parsley, old mans beard, gorse, ramsons, dandelions, bluebells and a whole host more. Is it just me, or are wild flowers making a resurgence?

On a separate note, isn't it odd that Chinese culture has the negative, dark force of Yin as feminine and the positive, bright force of Yang as masculine? In Western culture, I feel it would be reversed?

Keeping busy

Yesterday, I was about as much use as a chocolate teapot, but I have been a little bit more alert today, so have managed four loads of washing, a food shop and some general tidying and cleaning. It's good to keep busy at times like this.
There's no change with Mum so we are hoping that she will now be moved to a quiet place for the final days of her life. Mr D and I will go tomorrow and check where she is. Presently, she is still on a busy ward and I'm quite sure she will still be aware of the noise and general coming as and goings that are part of hospital life, but that's not what you'd want to be surrounded by in your last moments is it? I find it stressful and I'm fit and well! Hopefully they'll find her a quieter spot very soon.

On a more positive note, I had some great finds at Mums which I have brought back. They will definitely be used and I will think of her as I do:-

Mum's tin of seeds which I will sort through and use.

37 jam jars with lids! These will be extremely useful. I often give my jams, marmelades and chutneys away as gifts and then of course don't get the jars back. As I never buy jam, I don't then restock my supplies either. Thanks Mum x 

Good job I have the jars because,  as you could tell from the photo of the garden yesterday, Mum loved growing her own fruit, veg and flowers. Her chest freezer was chock full of tomatoes, gooseberries, damsons and raspberries. I filled two huge freezer bags with them and will bring the last lot back this weekend. I absolutely know that she would be VERY pleased to think of me preserving her own grown produce and each time we then eat some, I will have fond memories of her in the garden :)

Anyone who knows me, will know that my Mum has always been quite a challenging character and that it hasn't always been easy living with her, supporting her, caring for her and fulfilling her expectations and wishes especially in the last ten years since my father's death. HOWEVER, she's my Mum and she has also been loving, funny, generous and provided an endless supply of amusing stories for dinner parties!! I will miss her very much, but know also that part of her (hopefully the less challenging part!) lives on in me and the way I live my life.

I'd like to say a very big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to contact me with good wishes and kind words. I really appreciate all of your thoughts and sentiments xx

It's my own fault!

There I was a few days ago, posting about my 'humdrum' life ..... I should have kept quiet!

We went to see Mum on Saturday in her new nursing home that I had fought so long to get her in to. Her room is nice with a light and airy feel and a view of the sky and trees with visiting birds from her window. Despite a fair chunk of the conversation being in 'her world' and frequent interuptions from fellow residents who wander without intention, it was a really good visit. She recognised Mr D and myself and was quite like her real self, without the agitation and aggression. We left after about 2 1/2 hours to go back to the house and carry on with decorating and gardening. I was feeling quite positive and relieved that she had settled so well in the new home......

My relief was short lived unfortunately, because at about half 10 that night, we received a phone call to say she had had a massive stroke. Sadly it seems after four days of no response and no sign of any recovery, that this will be the end. In some ways, I'm glad that she hasn't had to live with a continuing decline in her physical and mental capacities, but it was a terrible shock and totally unexpected. I think it won't be too long now until she can be at peace.

This is the view from my chair in the sunporch. It really is MY chair, despite me not living there for the last 30 years, neither Mum nor Dad ever sat in that chair! Even on a cloudy day, the view is lovely and the sun rises over the church tower. 

Back at her house, Mr D, my brother and I were immersing ourselves in DIY. I repainted a couple of rooms and did some more clearance, Mr D mowed lawns, weeded and swept paths. My brother then appeared with petrol driven hedge cutters and strimmer and his favourite spade and set about bringing the garden back from jungle to attractive plot with potential. Thanks to all of our work, the house and garden look lovely and will be put on the market very soon. I am a little sad at this because it was the childhood home that I remember the most and now we've decluttered and cleaned, it really does look rather nice! Still, it's not practical for us to keep it, so it has to go.

The back garden reclaimed from the wilderness. As you can tell, Mum was a keen gardener and grew lots of her own fruit and veg. 

The front garden, neatened up and that's the sun porch I love to sit in so much. I will miss that room the most by far!! 

I'm back in my own home now, but will probably go back at the weekend to say my final goodbyes. Very sad times.
I'll keep posting, but there may be the odd gap as events are likely to get complicated!

It's Friday!

Here's a link to the sweetcorn and chick pea burgers. Well worth the effort!

http://realfood.tesco.com/recipes/chickpea-and-sweetcorn-burgers-with-smoky-tomato-sauce.html

We had a dahl last night, but it didn't really thicken up enough, so it was more of a soup! I served it with Indian courgette and green pepper, because yesterday I decided that all of my food was orange, so I needed to introduce some green!!
Tonight I am tempted to try Jack Monroe's gram flour pizza bases from her blog on my side bar. I might then make a home made coleslaw to accompany the pizzas. As yet, I am still undecided, but it's a plan ........

I started up a bit of knitting again yesterday - the weather was foul! The poor chickens were drenched and so they are very happy to see the sun again this morning! I'm not a natural knitter, apart from a tiny bit a few months ago where I taught myself the basic stitch and how to cast on and off, I haven't knitted anything since I was about 11! I really liked this yarn, which was half price, so I'm going to knit as long a length as possible and then I can make a collar scarf out of it if it's long enough. When I see some of you knitting your own socks, I am totally in awe. I can't imagine me ever getting that far, although the thought of a knitted throw for my settee does appeal ..... Knitting for me is a bit like me on a bicycle - fine whilst going in a straight line, but as soon as I attempt to turn a corner, I am very likely to fall off. (Terrible balance!)

Off to see Mum early in the morning tomorrow and not back until Wednesday so may not have time to blog. Have a wonderful weekend everyone - let's hope the weather is kind :)

Still trundling

Thank you to all those of you who commented on yesterday's post. I suffer from overthinking things sometimes, so I really appreciated your positive encouragement!
I did get some bits done yesterday - two loads of washing dried on the line, the roof of the coop painted with some bitumen paint I had in the shed, my book finished and a nice stroll along the canal with a friend and two of her boys. I also cooked a rather nice tea (if I say so myself!) - of course it was the recipe which was nice rather than my specific cooking of it!!

Potato, pea and parsnip curry from Waitrose recipes. It has a bit of a kick to it, but it's VERY tasty. I would certainly recommend it :)

The paint on the roof of the coop had begun to chip, so I sanded it down and repainted with some gloopy bitumen paint. It's like painting with treacle!

However, it gives a waterproof, glossy finish and looks much smarter.

This was the craft project I mentioned a few days ago. I made this for my sister's Birthday. 

 The next one I make will have to use coloured buttons as I'm running out of white ones now, unless I cut off all of Mr D's shirt buttons!! 

Curry night last Friday. I had been going to make pakoras, but decided to make onion bhajis instead. It's exactly the same really except there are no peas or sweetcorn in them!! The Aloo Gobi was good too. I use gram (chickpea) flour for the bhajis and they are very easy to make. 

Gosh there seem to be a lot of foods pictures today! These are Saturday night's sweetcorn and chick pea burgers, served with a smoky tomato relish and home made chips. The burgers and relish were a Tesco recipe. I think you can google it, but if not let me know and I'll post it. It made 10 burgers, so my eldest and I had the others for lunch on the Monday with some salad. They are such a doddle to make, especially if you use a food processor and they

freeze really well. I imagine they would cook well on the barbecue too, although I've not tried it. 

Today, I'm off to do the food shop,then out to visit a friend for a cuppa and our weekly catch up. I may do the ironing and I need to finish the album for my Mum as Mr D and I are going down there this weekend. I wrote to all my Mums friends having trawled through her address book (which was totally chaotic) to let them know what had happened to her in case they were worried at not hearing from her. At Christmas, I know she had got completely confused about who to write cards to and had sent several to people who had died! So I had typed up a letter and popped it in the post to about a dozen of her closest friends. I have been very moved by the fact that I have had two phone calls, an email and three letters back from them. People are lovely, aren't they? 

Have a lovely day everyone and thank you once again for your support and encouragement :)