Thursday, 21 May 2015

It's my own fault!

There I was a few days ago, posting about my 'humdrum' life ..... I should have kept quiet!

We went to see Mum on Saturday in her new nursing home that I had fought so long to get her in to. Her room is nice with a light and airy feel and a view of the sky and trees with visiting birds from her window. Despite a fair chunk of the conversation being in 'her world' and frequent interuptions from fellow residents who wander without intention, it was a really good visit. She recognised Mr D and myself and was quite like her real self, without the agitation and aggression. We left after about 2 1/2 hours to go back to the house and carry on with decorating and gardening. I was feeling quite positive and relieved that she had settled so well in the new home......

My relief was short lived unfortunately, because at about half 10 that night, we received a phone call to say she had had a massive stroke. Sadly it seems after four days of no response and no sign of any recovery, that this will be the end. In some ways, I'm glad that she hasn't had to live with a continuing decline in her physical and mental capacities, but it was a terrible shock and totally unexpected. I think it won't be too long now until she can be at peace.

This is the view from my chair in the sunporch. It really is MY chair, despite me not living there for the last 30 years, neither Mum nor Dad ever sat in that chair! Even on a cloudy day, the view is lovely and the sun rises over the church tower. 

Back at her house, Mr D, my brother and I were immersing ourselves in DIY. I repainted a couple of rooms and did some more clearance, Mr D mowed lawns, weeded and swept paths. My brother then appeared with petrol driven hedge cutters and strimmer and his favourite spade and set about bringing the garden back from jungle to attractive plot with potential. Thanks to all of our work, the house and garden look lovely and will be put on the market very soon. I am a little sad at this because it was the childhood home that I remember the most and now we've decluttered and cleaned, it really does look rather nice! Still, it's not practical for us to keep it, so it has to go.

The back garden reclaimed from the wilderness. As you can tell, Mum was a keen gardener and grew lots of her own fruit and veg. 

The front garden, neatened up and that's the sun porch I love to sit in so much. I will miss that room the most by far!! 

I'm back in my own home now, but will probably go back at the weekend to say my final goodbyes. Very sad times.
I'll keep posting, but there may be the odd gap as events are likely to get complicated!


  1. I'm so sorry, I feel for you and understand what you're going through.

  2. I'm so very sorry for you & your family x

  3. Its nice that you had a good visit to mum a nice memory to hold on too, sad that events have turned.

  4. So sorry to read this news, and will be thinking of you. You are doing a wonderful job on your Mum's house, and I imagine it will be hard indeed to let it go. It does look very nice in your pictures, and I can see exactly why you love that view - what a view it is! Beautiful x

  5. You will remember your mum how she was on that last visit and they will be good memories. I hope all the things that you have to do at this time go smoothly.
    Take care

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  7. I'm so sorry to hear this. Thank goodness you got to spend a really lovely visit with her before she had the stroke.

    You have made that garden look amazing between you all, it shows what a gorgeous growing place it must have been for years. A gardener leaves a bit of her heart and soil in her plot and your Mum's care of the bones of that garden just sing out. Whoever is lucky enough to buy the bungalow is buying a treasured family home and garden.

    Look after yourself at this sad time, and know that there are lots of your blogging buddies thinking of you. xx

  8. So sorry about your Mom, it's so hard, but it will pass. In ways the clearing of the house is worse, or at least it was for me.

  9. We have been through that twice now, never easy. I'm sure you will cope whenever the time comes. At the end of the day, she knows she is loved and as much at peace as is currently possible. Keep taking care of each other.

  10. My Mum lived 100+ miles away and when we came to sell her house we simply took a few personal items and arranged for a house clearance firm to deal with the rest.

  11. So sorry to hear about your Mum, glad you were able to visit her this week.