Thursday 7 May 2015

A gentle kind of day

I'm feeling very anxious at the moment as I build up to going back to see my Mum. I know she has deteriorated again and it's not easy to cope with losing the essence of who Mum is. She should move to the Nursing Home I wanted her to go into originally today, so that's a good thing as it's been a long time coming. Getting all the various parties to communicate efficiently isn't easy and unfortunately I seem to have been lumbered with a social worker who a) barely speaks English and b) seems to need me to tell her what her job role is!! Hey ho! At least if Mum does move today, it will be her final move and we should be able to get her properly settled. Then we can move on to the business of clearing her house and selling it.

Anyway, after a restless night, I decided I needed a gentle day. This morning I went for a lovely long walk with a very good friend with a break in the middle for a cuppa at her dad's house. We had a great chat walking round and it's so lovely that there are such nice walks within a stone's throw of our houses despite us living in deepest suburbia! According to her Pedometer app, we covered 5.5km.

When I got back, I made a leisurely lunch, hoovered, popped a load of washing on and then set to making a craft project. Can't put on a photo yet in case the recipient is reading this!

I've also nearly finished the annotated photo album that I'm going to take down to Mum so her carers can get an idea of who Mum was before the dementia robbed us of her. They might be able to get her to talk about her family, friends and previous life with the help of the prompts. Worth a try at least.

I had two tiny eggs on toast for breakfast this morning. Tidlers, but tasty nevertheless! Another one arrived today. It's Ginger who is laying, but I have had to tell her off today because she escaped and dug up a butternut squash!! I've improved security now, so hopefully she'll be contained. I also managed to replant the squash.


Even Oscar the cat seems to feel the need for a quiet day. Surely that can't be comfortable!?


Yesterday I made ginger biscuits from the recipe on Summerdays blog (link on the side bar). I obviously substituted GF flour and vegan margarine, but they were very soft and tasty. They didn't last long, I can assure you. I thought I might try lemongrass flavour next time?


The tomato and butternut posole was very tasty and enjoyed by all. We served it on rice to make it go further, but it would be just as nice on its own with the avocado topping and tortilla crisps. The glass of wine is also not a necessity, but I did enjoy it very much! 

Off to vote later tonight when Mr D gets back. I'm voting alongside my daughters for the first time too. 
I hope you all had gentle kind of days too :) 

12 comments:

  1. it is six years ago this month since I lost my mum she had Alzheimers but went to cancer in the end, it was a difficult choice to move her into a home, we told her she was going on holiday she went off happily with her suitcase and within a few days she had forgotten about home, I put together a photo book for mum it was very usefull for carers and visitors, I hope it all goes well for you :-)

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    1. Thank you for commenting. :) unfortunately my Mum isn't settled and demands that every visitor takes her home. A few people can no longer visit because it's too distressing for them. I hate the idea that she is somewhere where nobody knows who she was before so I'm hoping the book will help them get to know the woman behind the dementia. It's a tough time!

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    2. So sorry to read about your Mum. Just to let you know that I work in Palliative Care and inevitably we nurse people with life limiting illness who also have dementia. We make a real effort to find out about who that person is, their family, previous job, character, hobbies etc. We encourage photographs - more for the staff - it helps us to see the person beyond the illness. Thinking of you.

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  2. I lost my Mum 10 years ago to cancer, for the last few weeks the morphine had already taken her away from us. It is not an easy journey and the house clearing is painful but it did help us towards closure, as the US folk call it. We looked after her at home to the end so did not need a book, what we did instead was make 3 large boards of photos from her life, these were for all the visitors to help them remember who she was.

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    1. I lost my Dad 10 years ago to cancer, but was fortunate enough to be able to say goodbye before he slipped into a coma. It's tough losing people who have supported you all your life!

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  3. After 25 years of coming into regular contact on a professional basis with Social Workers - your description of your Mum's pretty much covers the majority of social workers that I've had the 'pleasure' of dealing with especially your point B - hope your Mum settles into her new home well and that you feel more settled then xxx

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    1. Thank you. Mum certainly wasn't settled last night (I could hear her loud and clear in the background!) but it's a good place and I have confidence she will settle there x

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  4. It's such a good idea to do the photo album with family notes, it will be a good talking point for her carers and her.

    We all need a gentle day sometimes, and it sounds like you managed a good one. :-)

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    1. Thank you. A bit busier today, but keeping occupied is also good. I like to try and wrap up lots of jobs before the weekend when Mr D is off x

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  5. I think the photo album will be an excellent idea. As my Mum deteriorates, I know that the shared memories in photos will make the difficult days easier. Jx

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    1. It's been sort of sad putting it together but I have also had a few laughs at some of the memories! X

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  6. What a lovely idea to do a photo album. I have cared for many people with dementia and it is always a good talking point and so helpful in discovering the person before the dementia took hold. Much love to you and your family. I'm glad you enjoyed the biscuits. X

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