Thursday, 6 November 2014

The stages of motherhood

I have been thinking a lot about what it is to be a parent of late. My own children have grown up - even Immie, who is still 11, looks and behaves like an adult! Meanwhile, my mother needs mothering and my husband, bless him, is regressing back into toddlerhood. I am also in the process of completing a course to enable  me to volunteer for Homestart, a charity which supports parents of under 5s in their own homes.
Parenting has always been something I found quite straightforward. Ever since the age of about 2, I would talk about having children - up to 11 at one point!! On the whole, pregnancy and early motherhood came quite naturally and I truly relished being a mum. There have been more challenging times of course, but once I'd got the hang of each 'difficulty' being a stage and therefore transient, the years and phases passed by without major hiccoughs. HOWEVER .... I have to say, I am finding parenting more challenging now than I ever have!! It's not even that my children are being more challenging, just that I am no longer able to fix everything. There was a time when I was in charge of everything they did but now, they have to find their own way. I could choose what they ate, what they wore and what they watched. Now, they sometimes dictate what I eat and wear and I'd have a myriad of devices to confiscate.
It's such a fine line between being a supportive parent and allowing them their freedom. I seem to get flack either way! I feel reluctantly redundant.
I guess I need to remind myself that this too is a phase and that what can seem like a perilously uphill struggle will, before too long, level out.
One day, way into the future, perhaps they'll return the favour and start to parent me!
Either way, it is my most amazing achievement to date and I am very grateful to have four such amazing young adults to send out into the world.


  1. I think this is really brave as people rarely give themselves the time to consider what actually makes them happy.

    1. How true! It's terrifying to think that I could have spent years not focussing in the right things. I would encourage everyone to take time out to re-evaluate, even if you don't take the drastic step of giving up work!

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  4. My mum did the same as you and I have notices a real difference in her. She honestly looks beautiful again, like the pictures of her in her 30's. What makes me really proud though is the fact that she now takes the time to look after the elderly in the parish. Sadly their families seem to be locked into the need to work and have forgotten what matters most.... which often can happen when your stressed beyond belief!

    I hope you will be writing about some of your other projects as the lemon chelo is a fantastic idea for Christmas

  5. Lots of creative projects on the way in the lead up to Christmas. Am aiming to give as many home-made gifts as possible.

  6. Reading this is so reassuring as I can relate to so much of it, it's very therapeutic, thank you.